How it Shapes the Brain, Opens the Imagination, and Invigorates the Soul
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Quick Recap
This book provides an incentive to play, it reminded us of all I am missing out when we choose productivity over play. The book provides a scientific insight into how play shapes our brain and attitude towards the world. Play seems to be the oxygen of our human life. Without it, our relationships, purpose, and life, atrophy. A great read for parents who feel the pressure of overscheduling their children and those struggling with burnout.
Background:
Published in 2009 by Stuart Brown a doctor, psychiatrist, and clinical researcher. Dr. Brown started the National Institute for Play (NIFPlay) in the nineties. The NIFPlay wants the world to know:
A) Playing, being playful, is the healthiest way to spend your time (after feeding and housing yourself).
B) The activities that evoke playful feelings are unique to each of us.
I found this book from its reference in The Coddling of the American Mind. The data behind reduced recess time in America and its effects on adolescent mental health caught my eye so I picked up this book shortly after.
3 Sentence Summary
If you feel stressed and depleted it may be time to start prioritizing play.
Bring play back into your life by understanding your play personality, doing a play history, and eliminating play inhibitors.
Play is critical in developing emotional intelligence, key socialization skills, and a growth mindset.
Key Takeaways
What is play? Properties of play:
- apparently purposeless – done for its own sake.
- voluntary – nobody is forcing you to do it.
- inherent attraction – its FUN!
- freedom from time – we tend to lose track of time when truly playing.
- diminished sense of self – we don’t worry about whether we look good, smart or stupid. We just ARE.
- improvisational potential – anything can happen, there are no rigid rules. The players are improvising as they go.
- continuation desire – we want to do it again and again.
6 step process most of us encounter as we play:
- Anticipation – curiosity and risk is usually involved. “Can we hit the baseball?”
- Surprise – “yes we hit the baseball”
- Pleasure – “we made it to first base”
- Understanding – learning from what just occurred
- Strength – from being on the other side of uncertainty and from growing knowledge of how the game is played
- Poise – “a sense of balance in life” this is especially learned from losing a game
The amount of play is directly correlated to the development of the prefrontal cortex. Which ultimately determines cognition; the way we manage our emotions, plan for the future, and determine what is essentially true. It also helps us build learn how to socialize.
How we play is unique to every person and it’s difficult to put a definition to it. Watching TV, reading a novel, and even watching a movie can be considered play for adults. Think of when you watch a great movie; there is anticipation because you don’t know where the plot will take you. There is surprise when the unexpected occurs. There is pleasure, even folks who enjoy thrillers describe a euphoria from being scared. Understanding as you follow the story and seek to learn about why characters are doing what they do. There is strength as you typically learn something knew about the world and how it functions. Finally, there is poise which is especially true after walking out of movies with strong messages and life lessons.
What is your play personality?
- The Joker – the class clown. We all start as jokers, since baby play includes making funny faces and sounds, blowing raspberries, etc.
- The Kinesthete – this person is all about movement! These are the kids you can’t get to leave the playground. Who love the monkey bars and can’t stay still. As adults they may be more inclined to participate in sports, yoga, dancing, etc.
- The explorer – this is the curious player. Play comes from new experiences, whether those are physical (travel, bungee jumping, etc.), emotional, or mental (new experiences or points of view).
- The competitor – for this player there is always rules, there is a winner and a loser. There is a score and they always want to have the top of it. They can be active players in the game or dedicated fans.
- The director – these are your planners and executors. They enjoy planning social outings, being organized, and of course being in charge.
- The collector – the thrill for this player comes from having “the most, the best, the most interesting collection or objects or experiences”
- The artist/creator – making things, making things work, or making things better.
- The storyteller – these of course are your writers, or performers. But it can also include those who love reading a great story or watching a good movie. They “experience the thoughts and emotions of characters in the story”.
Play for children
It is no mystery that play is particularly important in childhood years. In early childhood (<4 years old) play is mostly “parallel”. Playing side by side but each on their own path, the kids aren’t interacting much while playing. This is actually a good thing as it helps them succeed in mutual play which is what takes over from 4-6 years old. Mutual play is critical in developing empathy for others and the foundation of friendship.
One discovery I found very interesting was Dr. Brown’s study of mass shooters and how most of the attackers were deprived of true play as children. The Texas Tower Massacre gunman was deprived of play his entire childhood. His father had him focus on developing his talents in piano and was constantly putting him on display to show his latest trick.
Play is also critical in the classroom, it is what makes learning possible. There is actually studies showing the direct correlation between recess time and educational performance down the line. Organizing all their time (through activities and such) may actually be taking time away from them to discover themselves and their talents “depriving them of access to an inner motivation for an activity that will later blossom into a motive force for life.”
Play is the truly the essence of childhood. We are so driven to play that as children that when you take a group of kids of mixed age the older (usually more capable) children will automatically reduce their capabilities to ensure they don’t dominate the younger kids, all this to keep the game going.
Play for adults
Somewhere along the way we become far too serious and forget how to play. In order to bring back play for adults we should consider what we enjoyed as children or the last time you found yourself wanting to do something again and again.
Equally important is bringing play into your relationships, especially your romantic ones. One way to incorporate the novelty that sometimes can be missing from monogamy is through play. The author claims play is a defining factor on whether couples stayed (happily) together. Engaging in new and unfamiliar experiences results in dopamine increase and a great way to bring play into your relationship.
Play for adults is even more important at work, as a critical component of innovation and problem solving. The more complex the problem the more it requires a flexibility of the mind, which is brought about by the stretching that occurs when we play. When playing we test our limits, we have to think in different ways, sometimes we have to push ourselves physically, all skills required when solving problems. As an engineer I have often found similarities between my childhood play and work.
As a child I loved to pretend play and act out scenes. Setting up the scene took work. I had to scour for materials, haul them to my play area, climb trees to get “food” etc. Yet, the satisfaction of bringing a scene to life was worth it. As an engineer I have to build models that predict the future, I have to write code that gives me data necessary to solve a problem. When I finally get the model or code to work and and do what I intend the “Aha!” moment is as exhilarating as my makeshift kitchen in childhood. I feel like I am truly playing.
Favorite Quotes
“Engineers are professional skeptics….engineers build on the bedrock of established fact…but play inevitably has an emotion-laden context that is essential for understanding.”
“Play is the swing off the rhythm in music, the bounce in the ball, the dance that delivers us from the lockstep march of life. It is the “meaningless” moment that makes the day memorable.”
“People who continue to play games, who continue to explore and learn throughout life, are not only much less prone to dementia and other neurological problems, but are also less likely to get heart disease and other afflictions that have nothing to do with the brain…the chances of getting Alzheimer’s were 63% lower than that of the general population”
“When we stop playing, we stop developing, and when that happens, the laws of entropy take over…when we stop playing, we start dying”
“Parents are often busy trying to mold a child into what they think he or she ought to be. Perhaps grandparents are the ones who see us for what we really are and help us grow into that.”
“Part of being a parent is learning to accept the limitations of our ability to make our kids safe, successful, and happy…parents need to foster that internal drive, self-directed play that will allow children to become secure and self-confident on their own”
“We can do a better job of helping our children be more joyful if we help ourselves remember how to play”
Taking Action
These are some of the things I am trying based on this book:
- Talking to my boss about scheduling our next happy hour.
- Scheduling a new cooking class for our next date night.
- Following these guidelines for bringing play back into my life (some are quoted directly from the book)
- Take 90 minutes and “take your play history”. Ask yourself:
- Imagine your childhood, what play were you particularly interested in?
- Were you playing alone? With friends?
- Were you working with your hands or mind?
- Write down the feeling that comes to your mind about every type of play you recall
- When have you felt free to do and be what you choose?
- Recall a time when you felt fully engaged and describe it in detail.
- How and why did certain kind of play disappear in your life?
- How free are you now as you play with your spouse and family? Do you treat them as an extension of dutiful responsibility?
- Expose yourself to play. Once you have an eye for what play is, you will see it everywhere. Get lost doing something you find “unproductive.” For me that usually seems to be where play is hiding.
- Stop worrying about looking silly or unprofessional. Look for play in areas that will be very obvious you are a beginner.
- Fun should guide you but not stop you or change your path. Yes play needs to be fun but all fun also comes with work (think setup, cleanup, prep). Some of the most rewarding play is a sandwich of work and fun.
- MOVE
- Eliminate fear. As adults most of our fear will come from making mistakes, looking stupid, or upsetting others. Don’t let this stop you from playing
- Surround yourself with fellow players. Seek relationships that foster your interest and ideas
- Take 90 minutes and “take your play history”. Ask yourself: